I know, this is getting out of hand. But what else I can do without being accused of being lunatic?
But... They always say that if there is problem with anything, try to look at it from the other point of view, from other angle to come up with possible solution. So I have tried other way of thinking. Like I said in one of the latest entries there is a lot of questions we try to proof scientifically or even find answers for. But what if, just especially in my case (everyone else can keep digging all they want with their own risk, I wouldn't give two shits anymore), there wasen't answer to the question "what happens after we die".
Yeah I know, sounds really anticlimatic and easy way out of this, but really. There is saying:
"For with much wisdom comes much sorrow".
I would actually like the idea of being just unaware of surrounding world and all these questions and just live the life on its fullest and as happy as possible. We possibly live only once anyway. Note; possibly. And Earth is already a pretty crappy place, so why to make you yourself miserable when with little you could make yourself much happier.
Even after doctor's tips I've been too scared to sleep long periods every night. But I'll keep trying to get my normal sleeping pattern back. Because I still want my old life back, no matter how boring it was.